Luckystott

2005-06-23 - 4:55 p.m.

Not that I have gone there...because I haven't.

But I see how it happens.

You get promised things. You say "Okay, that's great". And you dream about how lovely it all is and you make plans that correspond to all the promised things. And then?

It all hits the crapper.

I am still 94 days away from my wedding and it has already happened to me twice. I am anticipating that this will entrophy to the point of "Of COURSE it got screwed up! It's my WEDDING!" as we get even closer to the date. (Note to self: put "get a sense of humor" on your Wedding Channel bridal count down check list, m'kay?)

First, it was my church. The very first thing I did after we set the wedding date was to email the church admin and reserve the space for rehearsal on Friday evening and all day Saturday for the wedding.

I got an email back almost immediately confirming that we were good to go. The space was ours. Perfect. That was seven months ago.

Two weeks ago, I got a sheepish call from the church admin asking if we could do our rehearsal at 4pm instead of 6pm because the sanctuary has now been rented out to a Jewish congregation for Friday night services. Not that it makes a difference who's using the space...but the visual on that is the dog tilting his head and being all "Arf?" -- because it's a Baptist church.

So OKAY. We are going to attempt a 4pm rehearsal upstairs and then move downstairs for our 6pm dinner while the Jewish congregation has their church service upstairs. My mom, in her typical "every cloud has a silver lining" approach, was like "Well, maybe Best Friend From High School will run into a nice Jewish boy that night!"

And Fred's all, "Mom? I think they are pretty hard core -- like, the guys have ringlet hairdos and stuff...I don't think BFFHS is gonna go for that. I could be wrong...but, still."

So. That should be very interesting.

Yesterday was another day of big time fun. I got a message on my machine from *Alison* at the bridal salon.

"Um, hi. This is Alison? From the bridal salon? We have, like, a question about your dress? Can you give me a call? Thanks?"

So I call *Alison* back and she proceeds to tell me that my dress, which I ordered in March, has arrived at the salon. (YAY!) However, it's the wrong color. (No YAY!) I ordered it in ivory because I am super pale and I look horrible in white. So, naturally the order got botched and it shows up...in white.

Here's *Alison*: "So, we put in a rush order? But the dress is coming from Australia? So we won't have it till August 12? But that still gives you six weeks? So it should be okay? Okay?"

Here's me: "Fine."

I was trying to stay really adult about it because 1) I am a normal size. The dress probably won't need much work. And 2) this poor girl called me 15 minutes before the salon closed -- which means she was probably dreading the thought of making the call all day.

But I was SO disappointed! I was really looking forward to putting on my dress and standing on the little perch in front of the three way mirror again.

After I hung up with *Alison*, I thought to myself "Oh no! I was going to order my veil at my first fitting! I better call back and find out if I need to do that right now!"

So I called back...and this time I got *Nikki*.

"Hi-yeeeeeee!!!This-is-*Nikki*-how-can-I-help-you?"

I explained what just went down with *Alison*.

Me: "...so, I've never done this before and I have no idea how long it takes to get a veil. Will I be able to order my veil when I come in mid-August? My wedding is on September 24."

*Nikki*: "Weeeeeell-veils-usually-take-two-or-three-weeks-so-you-SHOULD-be-okay...I-mean-yah-yah-that-should-be-okay-yah-I-THINK."

No. No, *Nikki*. No SHOULD. No I THINK. I don't wanna hear these things. Right now I am so sad about my non-existing ivory dress in Australia. Just tell me you can make it happen, ok?

I have to admit, I felt a little defensive during these calls. I can kinda get how a bride might lose it. I am a mere three months from my special day. So far, my engagement has flown by, so I expect the next couple of months to go even faster. I am totally invested emotionally at this point. I have envisioned myself walking down the aisle. I have pictured my fiance's face when he sees me for the first time. I have fantasized about how fabulous the photographs will look -- me, swirling around in my gorgeous dress. Right now, I feel like my dreams are in the hands of...the junior varsity pom-pom squad.

I feel powerless. All I can do is hope that *Alison* and *Nikki* can throw their weight around on my behalf to make it all happen for me in a timely fashion. And also, the fact that it sounds like I am a DECADE older than these girls when I am talking to them on the phone is a little unsettling to me. (P.S. I'm only 30.)

So I can see how The Bridezilla gets unleash. Not that I excuse that behavior, but I understand the root of it. I do.

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