Luckystott

2005-06-16 - 10:04 a.m.

I got a great marriage book last weekend. Great. From my GRANDMOTHER, of all people.

Now, I know some people will read this and bristle -- but Dr. Laura Schlessinger's book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands"? Is so awesome.

I really enjoy therapists who come from the school of suck-it-up and Dr. Laura does not hold back. Every page is a slap in the face to whiny, entitled women who think the world revolves around them and their needs and their feelings.

For example, here is a conversation she included in the book that came directly from her radio talk show:

Man: I'm presently married for three years and have two children, age two and three. I have an ex-wife who lives out of state, with whom I have an eight year old. My ex-wife is now divorced again. I don't get to see my son often because of the distance and other factors.

Dr. Laura: Oh dear, that poor little boy has suffered a lot of loss.

Man: Yes, I'd hoped her marriage would work so he could have a male role model.

Dr. Laura: How can I help you?

Man: My question is - I'm supposed to have him for the whole summer. I've never had him this long before, but now his mother is under stress and willing to let me have him. But my wife is uncomfortable with that.

Dr. Laura: Well, uncomfortable...So what? Everyone is going to be uncomfortable simply because it's new and different. So? Talk about the issues, find out ways to deal with them.

Man: Would it be inappropriate morally to tell my ex-wife that it is just not possible to have him for the whole summer?

Dr. Laura: You're just not going to have me go there, sir. You made him and virtually abandoned him. He's your son, you need to raise him.

Man: I agree with that. But my wife says she can't have him there for the whole summer. She can't do it.

Dr. Laura: Of course I understand the strain of raising two small children, but I don't like to hear that she's putting her kids ahead of her stepchild. How disgusting for her to be resentful when she knew you had a child from a previous relationship when she married you. Inform her that the boy is coming for the summer.

Man: And if she says no?

Dr. Laura: There is no "no"! You say "Honey, you married a man with a child. There's no NO, there's only HOW".

Man: So...no matter what?

Dr. Laura: You are his dad. Period.

This is just one of many priceless dialogs in the book. The thing I find so alarming is that I could easily see myself as the wife saying "Gee, honey, I don't want an extra kid for the summer...I'm just too tired." And really, when you think about it, that is just ugly, selfish behavior.

I have observed that my Freddie can take a lot of crap before he loses it. And that's the point. Men hold a lot inside and then eventually...they snap if the pressure isn't alleviated. So I am really, really glad that I am reading this book and seeing the selfish part of myself in some of the examples. I can see how I might flip out and make unrealistic demands in the future and I don't want to beat up on such an awesome guy.

Anyway. She's controversial. I recommend checking it out before slamming my comments page. Thanks.

And - I hope all is well with you, friends. I haven't written because it's been wedding, wedding, wedding over here and I am so BORED with myself about it. I just didn't want to turn my diary into wed-a-mania!

But, I just check my stats page and my peeps are still checking in -- so thanks for that, peeps! I'll try to drudge up something fun to write for next Tuesday.

Actually, I am almost certain something amusing will happen this weekend. We are starting to paint the bedroom, a process which we have devoted the next four weekends to. I am sure it will take twice as long since all of our home improvement projects have moved at a very slow pace! The last time we painted (the kitchen), Freddie was being all "Mr. Expert" about the importance of painting preparation. He was all "You gotta shake the can first!" Little did he know that the top was not completely sealed onto the cannister. He flipped the paint can over to give it a good hard shake and -- he was sitting on the kitchen floor at the time -- the entire can of white paint spilled right into his lap! Naturally, I pointed, laughed, grabbed a camera...oh, okay, I helped clean up a little, too. It was just...a classic Freddie-ism. He is at his funniest when he is not meaning to be funny. Love that.

Until next week...

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