Luckystott

2005-11-18 - 7:39 a.m.

So, this entry will show you the uglier side of Erin!

I had a bad night at choir rehearsal last night. I totally lashed out at someone when I should have just kept my mouth shut.

You see, we are gearing up for the Christmas Concert right now. I've been doing these things long enough to know that everyone gets a little itchy and wonked out right before tech.

Even though I am mature enough to intellectually "get it" -- I was still thoroughly irritated by a myriad of people last night.

The root of my issue? I was passed up for a solo this year.

There's "valid" reasons why...um, sure. whatever.

...but there's just as many valid reasons (in my heart) that scream out "the HELL?" because some people have multiple featured parts and some people who are "the-ah-tah stahs" haven't even been at rehearsals much at all. And it's expected (and apparently, accepted) that they're gonna just waltz on into dress rehearsal, do their solo and...like...step outside to have a smoke?

So my little "justice streak" is having a FIELD DAY. It's like, dude, share the love with the little people. There's lots of riffs and speaking lines that could have been spread out amongst the choir members. Maybe I wouldn't mind "ooo-ing" and "aah-ing" so much in the back ground if more people (okay, okay, myself included) had an opportunity to shine in some little nugget during the show. All the featured lines and solos are going to the same chunk of people...

...AND - the kicker for me - last night, two of them had near-meltdowns about running their solos for the first time in front of the choir!

I really lost my patience.

"a-HEM...at least you've GOT a solo!"

Not my finest moment. I can't even justify it. I'm just frustrated. Finally (FINALLY!) my confidence level is high enough that I feel like I could handle a solo...and I've got this ambitious fire under my ass...

...and the people who were assigned solos are falling to pieces and - ARGH! - I just wanted to scream: "Look. If you can't stand the heat, GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN. You're in a GOSPEL choir. In NYC. There's plenty of people in this room that could sing your piece (not to mention, would *love* to sing your piece)...but you were picked for it and nobody here can duplicate YOUR beautiful voice so just shut up and sing it."

(By the way? I scored a big fat ZERO in the "Mercy" section of a spiritual gifts test last year...so I am totally aware of the work I need to do in this area of my life. Just...yeah. Thought I should disclose that.)

ANYWAY. I haaaaaaaaaaaaad to dissect the evening a hundred different ways on the subway ride home. Poor Freddie.

While brushing his teeth before bed, he starts giggling:

Erin: "What? I know. I'm a brat."

Freddie: "You ARE. And maybe next season you'll get a really big solo - and thanks to that display tonight, oooooooo girl, you better be ready for it!"

Erin: "I am, I AM! I practice every day! I know I'm not the best singer in the group...but I've worked really hard! Just you wait: when I get my chance to sing? I'm gonna TEAR - IT - UP!!"

Freddie: "Hahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahaahahhahahahahaha!"

Erin: "...(poopy lip)"

Freddie: "You know what you are? You're...like...the RUDY of our choir!"

Erin: "C'mon! Put me in the GAME, coach!"

Freddie: "Yeah - I'm gonna convince everyone to turn in their music folders one at a time just MINUTES before the concert! Can you just see it?"

(acting it out)

"Coach? If Erin doesn't get to sing out....then I won't either."

"Me too, coach."

Erin: "...That's...so...supremely awesome. No worries, man. I mean, I'll totally get over it. But, thanks, dude."

...at least humor helps!(your comments go here)

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