2005-03-04 - 7:20 a.m.


Dear Foreign Guy walking near me on 40th,

While cat-calling women on the street is a questionable courting practice in the United States to begin with, I would like to draw attention to your recent HUCKING OF A LOOGY directly in my path right before charming me with with your mating call (aka "tsss...tsss...tsss...hello mommy") as I passed you. I assure you, when you remove of your personal fluids ONTO THE GROUND - in PUBLIC, mind you - it is not in the least bit sexy or alluring. Not at 6am. Not ever. If you need to remove mucous from your person in the future, may I suggest doing so into one of the many trash cans located on every street corner and provided by our fair city's governing counsel? And would you practice such behavior (if you must...) in a discreet manner?

I thank you.

Love,

Muy Bonita Baby

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Erin G's lofty pursuits include sampling candy, taking naps, memorizing showtunes and shopping at Daffy's. She's a joyously dorky theatre girl. Also? a big fan of cats, well-written books, and her good lookin' an' schweet lovin' husband, Freddie.


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