Luckystott

2004-10-29 - 11:26 a.m.

Fred lives two blocks away from me. However, Fred spends a vast majority of his time at my house. That�s because, eventually �my� house will become �our� house.

People? The training wheels are on. That's because I am going to become Fred�s wife in about a year.

Welcome to GuyTown.

In GuyTown, there is no Oprah. There is no Top Model. There are two choices for television viewing: ESPN or ESPN2.

In GuyTown, You watch the ESPN with the sound off. Then, you tune your radio to your favorite sports broadcast. You see, you gotta absorb the visual and audio on two separate levels because �it�s just better that way.�

In GuyTown, it is perfectly acceptable to spend a three digit amount on baseball tickets. And, okay, it was Game Six and it was Yankees vs. Red Sox and that was supposed to be important or something�but still.

In GuyTown, the following items always appear on the grocery list:
Milk
White bread
Milk
Butter
Milk
Coke Classic
Milk
Doritos
Milk

(When I was single, I never purchased any of these items. Now I find myself running to the store twice a week to replenish the supplies. Did I mention the milk? Buy it by the gallon because in GuyTown, they drink it. DRINK it. Out of a glass. As a BEVERAGE.)

In GuyTown, if it is shiny�you must pick it up. Even if you are in the middle of a very busy intersection and you risk getting hit by a taxi. Once you have procured said shiny object, you must put it in your pocket so you can come home and dump your treasures o' the day -- paperclips, screws, coins, etc. -- on your girlfriend�s table. She'll appreciate it.

In GuyTown, you fix it. Even if it isn�t broken. You get out the Phillips screwdriver and pull it apart and fix it. You just gotta. It�s your job.

In GuyTown, you wear your underwear until it unravels. You wear the same underwear you wore to the prom in 1985 and, like, �What�s wrong with that? Nobody SEES it!�

In GuyTown, one grilled cheese sandwich is never enough. Have two. In fact, have two of everything. It�s okay. Oh, and why don�t you wash it down with a huge, honkin� �WeightGainerSuperStud� protein shake? Gotta keep up your strength, after all.

There are different neighborhoods in GuyTown. Personally? I�ve been to �Be-my-new-mommy� Street more times than I care to recount. Also? �Hey-kiddo!-you�re-pretty-but-you�re-kind-of-like-a-sister-to-me-but-I�d-totally-sleep-with-you-if-you-want-to� Street. Oh, and then there�s �Gee-I�d-break-up-with-you-in-person-but-then-I�d-actually-feel-something-and-I-can�t-have-THAT� Street�

But then there are guys who come from a little street called �Hey. Whaydda know? I�m well adjusted!�. With these guys, it�s okay to be emotional. It�s okay to go into a PMS tizzy � not that it�s an excuse to be snotty, but if it happens, it�s okay. Guys from this part of GuyTown roll with the punches.

Based on my own personal experience with GuyTown, you get the best of the best and the worst of the worst. And it�s all pretty amusing. I know it is so clich�d for women to male bash. I don�t know why we do it. Probably because they can be so utterly clueless, anger-inducing and adorable all at the same time. But the men get together and say the same thing about us. We are sometimes clueless about things that are important to them. Sometimes, we make them mad. And yet we still manage to enchant them, despite our flaws.

Yes, there are some serious dogs roving about GuyTown. But there are also some real sweethearts. Men who will move halfway across the country just to be near you. Men who still bring you flowers once they�ve �got� you. Men who would TOTALLY leave a baseball game during the eighth inning if you were shivering in the cold � but you don�t make them do that because they brought YOU to the game instead of a GuyTown buddy. See? They want to share GuyTown with you. So instead of whining, you send the guy out to the snack stand to buy you a hot cocoa and while you are waiting, you think about how privileged you are to get inside his world.

Happy Anniversary, Fred!

____________________________________________________

last entry next entry

Supergirl Central:

The Latest:

The Archives:

The Links:

"Heeeeey, you!"

Behind the scenes:

design � cece
dafont for aquiline
explodingdog
hosted by diaryland